Money "Matters" (but shouldn't)

A few days ago I went wedding dress shopping. I don't know why, but I feel very vulnerable when walking into a store where one item costs more than I can make in a month. The main displays hung on headless mannequins mock me while I peruse their cheaper, forgotten counterparts. Yet buried beneath layers of chiffon, lace, silk and other materials dubbed "feminine", there are dresses that are quite lovely. Did I purchase anything? No. But I did find a couple that I looked very pretty in. I'm not being arrogant, just truthful :D

Who began the wedding gown phenomena? I'm convinced it's another consequence of the Fall, how things are today when buying a wedding dress. That must be it! Dresses were intended to be affordable, every style perfectly fitted to every body type, and shopping for a dress was never meant to take more than one hour. Ha! I wish...

But, even if I found "the dress" today or tomorrow or whenever, I wouldn't be able to afford it. Not because I don't have the money, mind you (technically), but because I don't have the money.

"Huh? Did she just contradict herself?"

No. I'm simply describing my current predicament. This is the first time in my life I have experienced the effects of America's changing economy directly, and I must say, NO BUENO!

When looking at living expenses for Sydney, I knew I would need to raise some "extra" funds from friends and family back home in order to make ends meet. Well, the response was more than enough to make ends meet!...so I thought. I never took into account the issue of the USD dropping so significantly in value, but, OUCH! It's amazing that just a few cents can make such a difference!!

So I began studying the "wanted" ads in the local paper lately. There is a shocking need for accountants and real-estate agents in Northern Sydney! Too bad I have no skills in either area! Haha

*sigh* It will all work out, I know it. Just kinda stinks to realize that my dress-shopping was in vain, since I'm not even sure how I'll get a ticket back home!

So...who needs a vocalist with wicked photo-editing/graphics design skills? Someone told me I was a good writer. Journalist? Editor? Toilet-cleaner? Anyone? Anyone?

BAM!

I was recently pleasantly challenged by a message focused on Psalm 69. The question asked was, "Are you finding yourself 'backing down' when you face spiritual oppression? Do you think, 'it will just be easier if I'm not so passionate'?"

Boy, have I ever!

I've discovered there's a fine line between being passionate about something and being dumb. Haha! Consider: When Emeril Lagasse cooks, boy, does he excited! Here is a clip of him doing his thing. His famous catch phrases are "bam!" and "kick it up a notch". Now, I think it's great. I get pumped when Emeril BAM!'s his way through lunch. But then, it got to be too much. They used him for a Crest Toothpaste commercial, and it was just....yeah. Unnecessary.

I have seen that my passion for Christ is very much the same. Now, I must give a forewarning that I am NOT saying anyone could ever have too much excitement for Christ. Ever! What I'm saying is that the passion for the Lord should be placed in the Lord, not in anything else. Like Emeril...his BAM should be in cooking. Not toothpaste.

Looking back on my time here in AU so far, I have to say that my passion for Christ, though unbeknownst to me at the beginning, was seeping into the cracks of other things. Self-praise. Pride. The fear of being an outcast. I was driven more by the desire to "prove I'm right" than by a genuine love for people and for them to come to know Christ. Big mistake.

But, thankfully, I see that God's not given up on me. His grace is enough!

No mistake is too big for God. He always turns our bad into His good. Always.

So, Emeril's show may not be as popular anymore, but he still has a restaurant that's booming. I may not have glorified Christ to the best of my ability in every circumstance, but I'm still here, and He's still using me. I see it. And boy, am I humbled by it.

What's wonderful about God is that no matter how little faith we have in Him being able to create good from our shortcomings, He never even blinks at "trials". He already sees the solution. And He revealed it to us two-thousand years ago on a wooden cross. Now, that is well-placed passion.

I Have a Personal Chef

It's as easy as pie, really.

Perfection will come, like the rise of the sun

Blinding illumination.

I am called to be perfect.

It's as easy as pie, really.

No greater love than to die, pour the blood

Crimson stains cleanse.

I am called to die.

It's as easy as pie, really.

As far East is from West, no grudge is possessed

Love isn't bitter.

I am called to forgive.

It's as easy as pie, really.

Pressing on towards the goal, no matter the toll

Bread reigns in deserts.

I am called to persevere.

It's as easy as pie, really.

But God knows I can't cook.

Fresh Start

At times one discovers they are dream-walking. You can almost step back from your body, observe the situation at hand and think, "This is my life? How did I get here? Is this real?"

I've had that happen many times these past few weeks! A Christmas without my family has left me remembering all the times I used to wish I had something else to do than spend the holidays with them--was that really me? Did I really think those horrid thoughts about my own flesh and blood?

I spent the holiday season with the D's and their family in Melbourne. It was a fantastic Christmas present :D I was often at table with three generations of Italian heritage. There they were... Immigrants from long ago, who worked and sacrificed most of their lives to bring their children better opportunities. Their children, now grown, having experienced similar circumstances, yet with far more "freedom" than their parents had been offered. And then, my generation, reaping the benefits of both and wishing to burn a path of their own making.

Each one thinks the other could do things better. It's so interesting, when I sit back and observe a situation, instead of jumping in and trying to "fix" things. It's a dangerous thing when the first words out of your mouth are, "Well, I think..."

I never knew my grandparents. My grandmother passed away when I was five or six, so the "age-old-wisdom" of my ancestors is pretty much gone. It was wonderful hearing another's take on life and how to live. Such passion, in the Italian family! Nothing is said without much conviction. A simple reference to the weather can make one feel as if the question of whether it's "cloudy" or "partly-cloudy" is a life-and-death situation. Reminds me some of my own family. :D

We are all just trying to make it, trying to show each other what works and what doesn't.

I'll curb the stories of Melbourne for the one I truly wish to write of. On January 1, Brian David Mulvahill came to Sydney! He brought with him all the joy and positiveness that makes him him. *sigh* He makes everything better. I mean, Sydney's beautiful, but with Brian, it's gorgeous! I accomplished more sight-seeing with Brian than I have all by myself! Sad, but true.

On the day before he left (Tuesday, January 12, 2010), he and I had a wonderful time enjoying one another's company. Most of his stay's agenda had been arranged by both of us, but Tuesday was his especially. That evening, he took me to a restaurant at the edge of the harbour, called Sails. I have never tasted such fantastic food!!!!!! Exquisite. Then, we began to walk along the water, through a tiny park. I wondered at his knowledge of the area (he has a not-too-good sense of direction), but felt safe and happy. We walked up the stone steps and looked at the view, the wind blowing cooly, the night sky winking with distant stars. He held me, whispering beautiful words meant only for me. Then, he said my name in the most loving way I'd ever heard it spoken: "Josmery, (bends down on one knee) will you marry me?"

The rest is a blur of tears, laughter, questions, encouragement and above all, grace. I had the notion, the hope, that he would propose, but...it actually HAPPENED!!

I stepped back from myself and looked. Was this my life? How in the world did I end up in Sydney, Australia with the most wonderful man in existence asking for MY hand in marriage?

Grace. Grace!!! I am the future Ms. Brian Mulvahill. Josmery Mulvahill... (still gotta get used to that haha)

A new year, a new life. Something I've learned is that looking towards the future is great, but the danger is that you overlook what's going on now. When I was young, I looked so forward to being "grown-up". I didn't relish my childhood as much. I am now looking very much forward to returning and being with my beloved and all my loved ones! But I don't want to miss what God's placed right in front of me now. Live for today! That's all we can do.

I leave with words of great joy...

Isaiah 61:10-11

I will rejoice greatly in the Lord! My soul will exult in my God, for He has clothed me in garments of salvation. He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness as a bridegroom decks himself with garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations.