I find myself in places and situations that are so far removed from reality that I think, "Am I real? Did I faint along the way and now I'm just having a crazy dream?"
I'm in Jamberoo, NSW, where I have just entertained a group of goodwilled guests who donated money to Rotary's charity funds.
If you could see this place!! (I'll post pictures later) I literally feel like I'm in a Jane Austen novel. I have come to a friend's estate to entertain guests, and I am surrounded by rolling hills, misty mountains and beautiful flora and fauna.
I was blessed to have a fantastic accompanist, David Vance, who tickled the ivories while I sang well-loved tunes and lesser-known, yet equally lovely, art songs. It's been a while since I've traveled to that "special zone" that I reach when I'm really entrenched in a performance, yet I got there today. It was during Samuel Barber's
The Crucifixion. Ah! I just love that piece. It gives me chills every time.
I am so grateful for my voice. It's interesting. Ever since I decided that pursuing an opera career in itself was NOT what I wanted (this developed just a few months ago), I've dived into music like never before. I think the reason for this is because I no longer have this weight on my shoulders of needing to prove to anyone that I can do it. I don't care anymore. I just want to do what God wants me to do. And I love to sing. Somehow, the two are mixing, binding and fusing together to create a solid vision...a calling. I still can't see it very clearly, but I can sense it's there. My "giving up" the opera dream has helped it materialize. Now it's just a matter of taking another step towards the now-hazy vision.
For now, I see in a mirror dimly, but then, face to face...