Madre

When I was born, there you were. I clung so tight, I didn't know what else to do.

When I could talk, there you were. I babbled on and on, but you drank in every word.

When I began to walk, I had two left feet. I dawdled and ran too fast and fell many times. You were always there to guide me.

When I began to read, my imagination exploded. I interrupted your day with a hundred crazy ideas, but you never made me feel stupid. You listened intently and encouraged me to dream.

When I had that assignment in class, I freaked out. I had to dress up as BENJAMIN FRANKLIN! I had no clue what to do. But you were there, and you gave me your silk shirt and helped me look the part. I got an A.

When I fell in love with music, I sang so many wrong notes. I cracked, I squealed, and I thought I was so good. You told me I had the most beautiful voice in the world.

When I felt like an outsider at school, I would cry. I hated everyone. I hated you for letting me be me and not like everyone else. You took the blows and said nothing, silently loving.

When I thought I had found what I wanted, I was lying to myself. I lied to you, to friends. I made so many mistakes. You gave me the space I needed without leaving me completely, no matter how hard it was for you to see me suffer.

When I graduated and went to college, I chose to study music. You supported me without question and never asked me what everyone else does... "how will you make a living?"

When I gave my heart to Christ, I finally saw reality for the first time. You were awed by the change in my life, and you too gave glory to God.

When I fell in love, my focus shifted. I no longer called you first about everything, no longer told you my deepest secrets. You smiled through tear-blurred eyes and prayed for us.


Mom...

I'm still clinging to you. I love you.
I love telling you stories. I love you.
I will walk in your steps. I love you.
I still dream because of you. I love you.
I have an education because of you. (I'm ready to be done with school!!!) I love you.
You are still "the wind beneath my wings"... I love you.
I've learned to bridle my tongue, that words are diamonds. I love you.
I'm still growing and learning, thanks to you. I love you.
I will always remember your voice singing me to sleep. I love you.
I know Christ, in part, because of your faithfulness. I love you.
I am so proud to have you give me away next year (God willing!!). I love you.

Happy Mother's Day

New Twist

For some time now, I have been focusing on what I do not have.

I am not home, with all the friends and loved ones I hold dear.
I am not with my fiance, and because of that I do not have the joy of feeling his touch or looking into his eyes or laughing with him.
I do not have hugs from him.
I do not have the ability to enjoy my mom's new house, nor to help her keep her new little garden.
I  can't spend time with my sister and encourage her.
I am not home.

For this slight and momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.


Paul is talking about the physical suffering and persecution they endured for Christ's sake, especially death. Yet, suffering is not only physical, but emotional as well. I know that being here in Australia is and has shaped my character tremendously. It teaches me to rely on God alone. And it helps me to appreciate blessings in disguise.

I have lived in two lovely homes and become a small part of two amazing families.

I have the privilege of using Skype and Gmail to communicate with my beloved in a way that is far more satisfying than scripted letters alone. I am learning to speak a new love language outside of physical touch.

I get to hug my new friends and "family"!

I have the honor to help out around the house and enjoy another's blessing of a beautiful home, garden and so much more.

I  have experienced being a "big sister" and have fallen in love with two beautiful, smiling gifts from God.

I am in Australia!

...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

I hope in God's promises, because God is the only thing that is sure. I am fickle, and this life is so short. I am here to be made more like Christ.  

None of this really matters, in the end. My reputation, my "achievements", my engagement to Brian. It is all vanity, if the goal is not God's glory.

He must increase, and I must decrease.