Fresh Start

At times one discovers they are dream-walking. You can almost step back from your body, observe the situation at hand and think, "This is my life? How did I get here? Is this real?"

I've had that happen many times these past few weeks! A Christmas without my family has left me remembering all the times I used to wish I had something else to do than spend the holidays with them--was that really me? Did I really think those horrid thoughts about my own flesh and blood?

I spent the holiday season with the D's and their family in Melbourne. It was a fantastic Christmas present :D I was often at table with three generations of Italian heritage. There they were... Immigrants from long ago, who worked and sacrificed most of their lives to bring their children better opportunities. Their children, now grown, having experienced similar circumstances, yet with far more "freedom" than their parents had been offered. And then, my generation, reaping the benefits of both and wishing to burn a path of their own making.

Each one thinks the other could do things better. It's so interesting, when I sit back and observe a situation, instead of jumping in and trying to "fix" things. It's a dangerous thing when the first words out of your mouth are, "Well, I think..."

I never knew my grandparents. My grandmother passed away when I was five or six, so the "age-old-wisdom" of my ancestors is pretty much gone. It was wonderful hearing another's take on life and how to live. Such passion, in the Italian family! Nothing is said without much conviction. A simple reference to the weather can make one feel as if the question of whether it's "cloudy" or "partly-cloudy" is a life-and-death situation. Reminds me some of my own family. :D

We are all just trying to make it, trying to show each other what works and what doesn't.

I'll curb the stories of Melbourne for the one I truly wish to write of. On January 1, Brian David Mulvahill came to Sydney! He brought with him all the joy and positiveness that makes him him. *sigh* He makes everything better. I mean, Sydney's beautiful, but with Brian, it's gorgeous! I accomplished more sight-seeing with Brian than I have all by myself! Sad, but true.

On the day before he left (Tuesday, January 12, 2010), he and I had a wonderful time enjoying one another's company. Most of his stay's agenda had been arranged by both of us, but Tuesday was his especially. That evening, he took me to a restaurant at the edge of the harbour, called Sails. I have never tasted such fantastic food!!!!!! Exquisite. Then, we began to walk along the water, through a tiny park. I wondered at his knowledge of the area (he has a not-too-good sense of direction), but felt safe and happy. We walked up the stone steps and looked at the view, the wind blowing cooly, the night sky winking with distant stars. He held me, whispering beautiful words meant only for me. Then, he said my name in the most loving way I'd ever heard it spoken: "Josmery, (bends down on one knee) will you marry me?"

The rest is a blur of tears, laughter, questions, encouragement and above all, grace. I had the notion, the hope, that he would propose, but...it actually HAPPENED!!

I stepped back from myself and looked. Was this my life? How in the world did I end up in Sydney, Australia with the most wonderful man in existence asking for MY hand in marriage?

Grace. Grace!!! I am the future Ms. Brian Mulvahill. Josmery Mulvahill... (still gotta get used to that haha)

A new year, a new life. Something I've learned is that looking towards the future is great, but the danger is that you overlook what's going on now. When I was young, I looked so forward to being "grown-up". I didn't relish my childhood as much. I am now looking very much forward to returning and being with my beloved and all my loved ones! But I don't want to miss what God's placed right in front of me now. Live for today! That's all we can do.

I leave with words of great joy...

Isaiah 61:10-11

I will rejoice greatly in the Lord! My soul will exult in my God, for He has clothed me in garments of salvation. He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness as a bridegroom decks himself with garland, and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the earth brings forth its sprouts, and as a garden causes the things sown in it to spring up, so the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations.