Today can just... go take a bath! Because it stunk!
I won't go into detail, because there's really no need. All I can say is, poo poo on people being less than cordial! Why? Why!
And you know what really stinks? As much as I dislike certain individuals being short with me...as much as I dislike certain individuals being unappreciative of my assistance...as much as I dislike certain individuals' lack of caring for the helpless...
I see all these things in myself.
Now, how am I supposed to expect others to treat their neighbors as they want to be treated if I don't do it myself?
No wonder Jesus rebuked the people, saying, "You fools! First take the plank out of your own eye before worrying about the speck in your brother's eye."
*shakes head*
If I were God, I would have given up on me by now. But that's exactly why I'm NOT God! (Hallelujah!)
You should all now be able to leave comments!! I hope you do, too! And don't be afraid to post negative comments, either. Just no rudeness, please, of course :)
This weekend was the District 9750 conference. I got to sing the Australian National Anthem along with an aria and a fun song. It was great!
The conference highlighted a lot of really great projects, like Mahboba's Promise, which also happens to be a book. This woman has been through so much! She's helping Afghani women and children and her main source of funding comes from AU.
I met GSE teams, including one from Connecticut! They were very fun. Indian women did this neat dance, people spoke about marketing Rotary; the entire event was really well done.
I even attended the banquet, something I've never done in my own district back home. It was fun! I got to talk to a lot of neat people and then watched everyone dance. I was invited to dance, but graciously declined (I only want to dance with Brian!) and just enjoyed watching others. Marie and John got down!! It was great to see such a lovely couple spinning and swinging!
I have a lot to do today. Clean, organize the emails I've gotten, and study study study! My recital is coming up very soon and I still have some pieces not memorized! Eesh...
I do not tell the following story as a "hey, look at me!" shout. In fact, there is still a part of me that wishes to keep it hidden--a tale between me and God. But the Spirit is revealing that I am not alone in this struggle, and so I share this with anyone wishing to see God's "kingdom come...on Earth as it is in Heaven".
I don't really like doing something "nice" for someone and then telling others about it. It makes me feel like a Pharisee. But, as I explained above, I'm divulging details now so that the reader may also gain courage.
When I first arrived in Sydney, the first thing that stuck out were the homeless and poor. We have poor people in Beaumont too, of course, but those people were more familiar. I actually knew a few. Here, where thousands are walking in shiny shoes, overstuffed bellies hidden beneath $100 suits, seeing the poor knelt below their wealthy counterparts' belts is quite jarring. I don't like it.
I decided to minister personally to one poor woman. She wouldn't tell me her name, but I visited her, bringing her lunch and company, for about two and a half weeks. She had begun to warm-up to me, and she even let me pray for her. That was the last time I saw her, when I prayed for her.
I began to get "busy" with school and made the excuse that she was out of my way, that it was too inconvenient to see her. The few times I would cross her path, I would even avoid her corner, for fear that she might see me.
Why did I do that?
Guilt ate away at me for some time, but I kept telling myself it was no big deal, that I had done my part. What a lie! I was allowing my selfishness to get in the way of bigger things, of things that actually mattered.
About two weeks ago, I tried to visit her again. I'd go to her corner, but she was nowhere to be found. I feared I had missed my opportunity. What did she think of Christ? That He only cares for a little while? I felt horrible.
I began to pray for courage. I wanted to have the strength to walk up to any poor person and just love them! But as the days passed, I was chicken again and again.
It's funny that someone with nothing to offer can make you feel so small.
I wanted to just give up so many times, especially after I'd pass a beggar, pretending I didn't see them. "They wouldn't want my money, anyway," I thought. Or, the really popular thought, "They'll just use my money for drugs or something". Excuses, excuses.
Well, I've been reading a lot (ha ha!). And Jesus tells us that when we feed, clothe, or give money to the poor, we do these things to Him. I don't know about you, but I want to serve Jesus!!
So, by God's grace, I continued to pray for courage. And I asked that He would guide me to the right person. Nothing fancy, no "magic prayer", just asked like I would to anyone.
Today I was headed to class. I looked ahead of me and saw a man sitting cross-legged, a small hat laid in front of him. He had no sign, just sat there. He looked up at me.
I saw Jesus.
I smiled, and he grinned a gap-toothed grin up at me. I asked him, "What do you really need right now?" He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I cuhd really use a bo'tle a watah." I asked him to wait a second, and I crossed the street to a vendor. I bought two bottles. As I brought them back, he stood to meet me. He took the bottles and thanked me graciously.
"God bless ya, ma'am," he said. "God is good!"
I felt a welt grow in my throat as I told him, "I'm sorry how things are. This world is so messed up. But I want you to know that God is still great, and He is still in control. And Jesus is good. And that's truth." I wanted to tell him so much more, to tell him how Christ died for the world, how Jesus was the lover of beggars and thieves. But he beat me to it.
"That He is, ma'am. There's anotha li'l lady, real pretty, that come one day and sat right next ta me!" His eyes glowed at the memory. "She sat next ta me a whole fordy minutes just talkin' an' laughin'! And she gave me this Bible, this li'l one," he motioned with his grubby fingers how small the Bible was, still clutching the bottles of water I had just given him. "And it was so good. Oh, you don' know! You don' know how good it is to jus' talk ta someone."
I told him about the woman I used to talk to down the street, and he nodded his head. "Yeah, she been havin' a real hard time lately. Don' come out anymore." I asked him to please, if he saw her, tell her the curly-headed girl said hello. He said he would. He said his name was Chris.
"Nice to meet you, Chris," I extended my arm out to him. He shifted the bottles to his left arm and wiped his dirty hand on his sweater. He gently took my hand and gripped it. "Thank you, God bless ya. God bless ya."
I asked him if I could do anything else for him, perhaps the next time I saw him. "Jus' say hallo, that'd be all," he grinned.
"God bless you," I said, and I smiled at the savior of the world.
I walked away, smiling and laughing. How great is God!?! He gives good things to those who fear Him, without measure. I felt no fear as I walked up to Chris, and I left feeling better than if I had won a million dollars.
Chris probably felt like I had done so much for him, but it was the other way around. He let me have the honor to bless him, and he blessed me intensely.
God gives you the faith you lack and the strength you need to change the world. There is a better way to live, it just takes one step outside the comfort zone. Once it's broken, you'll never want to step back in.
As I was walking up Bridge street, I kept passing by beautiful people. People with nice clothes and expensive jewelry. People with blonde hair and fake tans. People with frown lines and palm-pilots. People looking for the next break. And I thought, "Humanity is so enslaved to itself. Enslaved to money. Enslaved to comfort."
I like being free of that.
I kept grinning as I walked, laughing out loud at nothing. Some people gave funny looks, others smiled back, and others didn't even see me.
I want to encourage you to love someone that appears unlovable. Whether it's a beggar on the street or a blonde in a fancy suit. Whether it's a sick cancer patient or your stubborn mother. Take the time today to just...let whatever you're holding onto go. And replace your reservations with love.
I like that. I also love rocky road ice-cream. And kisses (from a certain someone). I love the smell of my Mom. I love my sister's smile. She can break through rain with that sunshine of a smile. I love my friends and the fact I consider them family.
I love the feeling of being clean and covered in lotion. Soft-smelling lotion, not the stuff that's trying to be sexy. I love it when you go to the salon and the person washing your hair really digs into your scalp, not just a topical scrub. I love squishing my feet in mud.
I love being just the right amount of full to where you can eat a good dessert and not feel sick afterwords. I love families that don't spoil their children. I especially love families that don't allow their children to be rude to guests, no matter what mood they're in. I love tickle fights. I love mangos. I love to paint.
I love seeing the love in someone's eyes, because you can sense eternity. I love how my teeth feel after a trip to the dentist. I love it when men are men and not perverted boys. I love reading sequels because I know there's more to come. I love having my feet massaged. I love cartoons.
I love helping others when no one is watching. I love when people prefer to do the latter instead of seeking approval. I love simplicity. I love complexity. I love analyzing things. I love revolutions.
I love the stars and how far away they are from all the things I love. I love that outer space never stops. I love that in all of this, there's a God that cares deeply about my list of things I love. And I love, so much, that He loves the person who doubts what I just stated, in spite of their skepticism. :)
As globalization slowly sweeps the earth, I feel like having a firm grip to what I consider "truth" is becoming more and more disdainful. Backward thinker, they say. Close-minded and set in her ways.
Why should I be considered close-minded if I listen with an earnest and willing ear to another's point of view, yet after juxtaposing it to my own, decide that I cannot agree? And yet, how often do I attempt to explain my understanding and I see a vague, glossy look sweep my "listener's" face? Are you not refusing the possibility that maybe, just maybe, the "new" way is not the best way?Of course not. That would be close-minded.
Other people, cultures and customs are not wrong, they are just different. I wonder. Is it wrong to buy an expensive suit so that you look more presentable at work, rather than using that money to...feed the poor? Is it wrong to sew or remove parts of a woman so that she will remain a virgin until marriage? On the other hand, is it wrong to circumcise a boy? Is it wrong to believe another human being has the right (note the word I just used) to demean another simply because they are of a lower caste? Is it wrong to give less than 100% of earnings to a worker so that someone halfway across the world can buy the product at a cheaper price, all the while allowing the company to reap the benefits? Is it wrong to spit gum on the sidewalk?
You may have read some of those questions and given your own answers of "yes" or "no". Before my next, answer this: is it wrong to have your answer and say nothing when someone goes against your conviction? If you really thought it was wrong to spit gum on the floor, would you not say so to the individual doing it?
Is it wrong to have a set standard of moral values and to try to implement them?
My take on it? I believe that when you strip away a foundational set of principles for human living, you cause the edifice of humanity to totter and eventually crumble. I am not saying the government should take over every aspect of our lives. The freedom to choose is priceless (by the way, the first entity to ever give this freedom was God!). I am speaking of morality. I am so sick of the whole "what's right for you is right for you, what's right for me is right for me" bit. There must be an absolute truth. Life just doesn't make sense if there isn't! If everyone did as they chose, chaos would erupt. Chaos has already broken out because of it.
I've stepped back and considered if my strong belief that I should make a difference in the world by sharing my beliefs is just an "American" reaction to difference (Americans have a stereotype of swooping in and forcing others to become like them). I do not believe my view has anything to do with American upbringing.
If we were all the same, that is, if we had no uniqueness, life would be boring, unprogressive and pointless. I don't think that people should look the same, dress the same, speak the same or dance, eat, work or play the same. But I do believe there should be standards. Who makes the standards? Well, if you've been reading my blogs, it's no surprise my answer is: God.
People think Heaven will be boring, that we'll all be in white robes on streets of gold, encompassed by blinding light and monotonously repeating "God is good. God is good."
Reading Revelation, I cannot say what Heaven will be, exactly. But I know for certain it will not be boring. Think of it like this...when you were a baby, you thought the best thing in the world was to have a bottle of warm milk. When you grew older, you thought it was Mom's food (well, some of us). Older still, and you discover high-end cuisine. Or another illustration: as a child, a best friend is someone who you agree with on...anything! High school, a confidant. College? A supporter. Adult? Someone you know would do absolutely anything for you.
How much better will be the things of Heaven? I remember thinking as a child that Heaven would be boring because I wouldn't get to have a Nintendo. Ha. Now that I'm grown, I know that there are things in life far more pleasurable than a Nintendo. "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a [wo]man, I gave up childish ways." 1 Cor. 13:11
How silly to think that God's way is not better. Will the pot say to the potter, you don't know what you're doing here? Only if it thinks it's greater than what it really is.
According to my Mac's dictionary, family is a noun for a household with parents and children, a group related to one another by blood, and a few other tidbit descriptions. Me? I'd like to think family is a verb.
So, Josmery's Dictionary describes family as follows:
fa-mi-ly/ˈfæməli,ˈfæmli/
verb
1. To stick together through difficult circumstances no matter how frustrating it may be
2. To love unconditionally 3. Laughing at each other's faults with the understanding that those faults are what make you unique 4. Borrowing something without having to ask permission 5. Brushing your teeth while someone uses the toilet (in the same room) without feeling apprehensive 6. Sticking up for someone in a crowd of people, even if they're wrong, just because you love them 7. Arguing freely because you know they still love you 8. Dying for someone in any way (sacrificing, biting your tongue, or literally giving up your life for the sake of another) 9. Forgiving freely
Not very scholarly, but...from what I've seen, this is family! Granted, some people have never experienced family within their family unit. But here's the exciting thing: even if you have never experienced family, you still have the ability to do it. Family with someone today!
So much has happened since my last entry, there is no way I can update you on every detail. But I will give a good overview!
Blue Mountains:
I went with my friend Alison. Her sister and brother-in-law live in the mountains and they opened up their home to us. It has been the highlight of my time here in Australia. Finally getting away from the city was spectacular! The mountains were breathtaking. My jaw literally dropped when I got out of the car and turned to see the view. They're called the Blue Mountains because the eucalyptus leaves give off a bluish tint. I saw the Three Sisters, which are three consecutive peaks with the Aborigines legend of three sisters who were turned to stone by the gods. We walked around a lot and just took in the sights, then headed back to the house for some grub. The next day we went to the Jenolan caves where we squeezed through tiny openings deep in the earth's core. It was awesome. The climb up was definitely interesting, and quite difficult. But I made it! Alison's one of the most fun and kind girls I've met here, I'm really glad to be friends with her. I've even taught her how to make S'Mores! We almost got stranded in the mountains, though, because her car ran out of petroleum and her brake pads were on their last legs. But, we had hummus and rice crackers, so I told her we were fine. It was quite an adventure. Later I will post a short video of our railway trip back up the mountains.
Chuck & Becky:
The Masons came down for a few weeks on vacation and decided to pay me a visit. It was just what the doctor ordered, because I really needed to see a familiar face. They made me feel so special and able to do anything I put my mind to. What better encouragement could I ask for? We went to a fancy restaurant, the zoo, and then they came over to the house and had Marie's fantastic cooking. It was great!
Socializing:
I've made a few "close" friends, finally. It's so good to be able to call someone up and say, "Hey, I'm bored. Let's hang out!" My friends back at home have become my family, and I miss them terribly. But there are awesome people here too, I just need to meet them and develop relationships with them. It's strange, because I never used to find it hard to make friends. But it feels different here, for some reason. I'm just grateful for the few I do have! I hosted a girl's night a few days ago and I cooked! I have to admit, I did pretty well! It was my first time to attempt a three-course meal. I ended up only doing the main course and a dessert because I didn't plan ahead enough to make the entree. On that note, the D's and I sat down together and discussed my inability to plan ahead. I'm working my butt off to do better. It's a lot of work.
School:
I feel unmotivated to practice. I'm not looking forward to my recital very much. In fact, today may not be a good day to blog about school. Because, frankly, I feel very apathetic about it all at the moment. Kinda tired of classical music. I'm listening to my songs right now as I type and all I can think is I have no clue what you're singin' man. Shut up. Is that bad? :)
I saw a mutilated bird on the sidewalk today. Life is but a vapor. Praise God my soul is in His hands.
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